"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
