Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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