You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
