ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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