You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
