kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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