I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm too high and old for this...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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