I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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