Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
this will be a night to untag.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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