I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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