So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no, he came in my armpit
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
