on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
