everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
