it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
