All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
3pm strippers are depressing
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
