True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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