Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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