well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So many bounce houses so little time
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
