I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
