whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
tell me about the fingering
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