ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
