girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
