She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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