When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
