chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A bitchslap is in order.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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