so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
