how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
