If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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