If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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