youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
