Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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