pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
