I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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