i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Come on in and take your pants off
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