Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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