She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Houston, we have a blender
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This is my gift to your gina
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
