If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
