well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
