Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
