As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
