I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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