Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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