I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
