I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
