ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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