Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
