Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
