i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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