Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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