i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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