Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
